Team Lampazzi finally made it official last night with a 79 point win over second place Team Gannon. With a final score of 609, Team Lampazzi claims their third Hemcher Cup, their first in 13 years. The record 13-year absence is only matched by Team Poli’s inaugural 13 year drought when they joined the League. After last night’s game was over, Anthony Lampazzi was overheard by an Oxford, CT reporter saying something about how he didn’t even really try hard this year either.
Final Score for Hemcher Cup XXII
- Lampazzi 607
- Gannon 528
- Poli 518
- T [redacted] 459
- Zucker 426
- Knight 391
The winning 607 points are the 4th lowest winning total in Hemcher Cup history while the 79 point victory is the 5th largest margin in Cup history. While no official stats are in hand, those two things combined tell me this may have been a historically low scoring year overall for the League during this chaotic tournament.
When will TJ publish The Way Too Early Hemcher Cup 23 Predictions?
Congratulations to Team Lampazzi on a hard fought Cup and their third Championship overall.
Team Lampazzi’s Address to the League
Much like a mega jackpot lottery winner, once I realized I had won last night, I had to go into seclusion. I had to let what had just happened settle in. I was overcome with emotions beyond description. I entered the 2014 contest with an unprecedented title drought of 13 years. The years of pain, suffering and futility at once were vanquished as the only threat to the title was ended when Wisconsin lost in the Final Four. It’s quite an amazing feeling. I’m not sure if the rest of the league fully appreciates that length of time. Do you realize that the last time Team Lampazzi won the cup that Bill Clinton was still in office? or that we were just a few months past the scare of Y2K? Or that was the year we all flew home from Vegas in that cross country turbulence fright fest?
Thirteen is an unlucky number for some but for me it was luckier than the night Coldplay’s tour bus broke down in front of Joe Lunardi’s basement apartment. While doing some quick Wikipedia research I discovered that 13 is actually associated with St. Anthony as his feast falls on June 13th and there is a traditional devotion called the “thirteen tuesdays of St. Anthony” which involves praying for the saint every Tuesday for 13 weeks. Since the title game will probably end very early tuesday morning, that seems rather appropriate.
One other nugget from the year 2000 is that is the year that Dora The Explorer debuted on Nickelodeon. Up until about a year ago I had no idea who or what Dora was but with a 3 year old in the house I have learned all about Dora, her friend Boots, The Map, and Swiper the fox, and I feel it’s only appropriate that Dora provides you with the theme song to TeamLampazzi‘s 2014 Hemcher Cup. [Link Deleted]